Liz

Lady Ivah

         Why, you might ask, doesn’t Ivah have a last name? The answer is a mystery. None of us know. What we do know is that we shall pass no judgment on Ivah’s little-bittiness, or lack thereof, and in the spirit of that, we shall be content with the four letters we have. I would say that Ivah is just fond of four letter words, but upon reconsidering that comment, I have to retract it. Ivah is not at all fond of the word crow. (click here to find out why). Yes, how would you like to wake up to that noise each morning? Ivah does not like it at all. In fact, if anyone has a pellet gun they’d be willing to part with for a day or two…

Anyway, if you were to ask Ivah how many of her it would take to change a light bulb she would say, “Before I could even think of changing a light bulb, I'd have to sit down with a cup of gourmet hot cocoa (made with milk, of course, not hot water). After sipping said cup of cocoa, I'd realize it had been more than five minutes since I checked my e-mail. However, I wouldn't want to let the cocoa get cold, so I'd send Ivah #2 to go check it. While waiting to see if anyone had sent me e-mail, I'd develop a sudden craving for a hot fudge sundae and french fries from McDonald's. Ivah #3 would be in charge of that. E-mail and food taken care of,I'd finally decide to actually change the light bulb, only to realize that I have no spare light bulbs. Since Ivah #3 took the car, Ivah #4 would tap her foot impatiently waiting for her to get back. Ivah #4's impatient tapping and pacing would give Ivah #1 a headache, so she'd ask Ivah #5 to rub her temples and play with her hair. When Ivah #3 finally came back, Ivah #4 would go fetch the light bulbs. In the meantime, the other Ivah's would quibble over who got to eat the sundae and who got stuck with the french fries. And finally, when Ivah #4 came back with the light bulbs, all 5 Ivah's would decide they really didn't feel like changing the light bulb, so they'd call Gwylym and ask him to do it for them.”

As you might have gathered, Ivah is fond of email. She also sings, bites (not hard) fences, sews and is an all around Renaissance girl. The thing you are most likely to see her doing if you randomly glance in on her life is putting on lip balm. She’s currently looking for a 12-step program to break herself of the habit, so if you know of one, feel free to email her.

This biography was written by L. Keina without the approval of anyone else (especially the subject) and does not necessary express the opinions of said subject. Anything offensive upon this page (other than the names of individuals mentioned) is completely her fault, and all complaints should be directed to her at KeinaVis@altern.org

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